Our days and our nights come and go pretty quickly. In between the sunrises and sunsets there are countless diversions and interruptions in our work or play -- the noise surrounds us and our brains are continually filtering and refiltering the static and activities in a effort to make sense of it all. This can be both mentally and physically exhausting.
The ability to pull away from time to time in the course of the day is a wonderful habit of health and many people will meditate, chant, take deep breaths or other things to move their minds ever so briefly away from the activities and concerns of the day. For me, I like to pray.
The best regimen I have adopted surrounds intentional prayer. Waking early, my thoughts will focus on those century-old prayers which remind me that the day is "not all about me," -- that my "prayers, works, joys and sufferings" will be offered as I serve others throughout the day. I will call on the Guardian Angels and others of my favorite heavenly intercessors to guide me through the day as the seconds tick into minutes, then minutes into hours.
The problem is that I then get going on the day and inevitably Tim will start his totally annoying morning yammering of nonsense or break out in song, followed by his comment, "I could have been an opera star." Yeah, he could have been something, but quiet doesn't seem to be among the choices.
If not him, then there is Jeannine. I never know exactly what awaits me as I make my way down the hall toward her room each morning. Sometimes she is wide awake and energized for the day -- up and getting the morning ablutions completed without me nagging. Most mornings, though, her reply to my cheery "Good Morning, Fuzzy!" is a groan or some unhappy mutterings I don't understand and she declines to repeat. All of a sudden those great intentions that started my day are forgotten as the noise begins to creep into my brain.
Life really intervenes and I find myself putting out brush fires and reacting to the activities of the day; furthermore, I find that I have lost that mindfulness of purpose I set as the day began to serve those around me with an open heart (you know, forgetting the it's not all about me attitude). This has really bothered me as I truly wanted to be able to live each day as positively and lovingly as possible. That infernal static just keeps getting in the way of my good intentions.
I finally had an idea to reset myself and I used the alarm on my phone to sound at 3 pm each day in order to do some intentional prayer. Those in the office, particularly Jeannine, are now accustomed to hearing the etherial harp sounding from my phone as my reminder to exit the busy-ness of the day for some intentional prayer.
I like to do a short version of the Divine Mercy devotion and meditate on the sufferings and death of Our Lord. Those few minutes in contemplation will many times reorient me and in the meditation of what He endured for me...how He served me to the fullest measure of His life...I renew my sense of purpose and many times I am able to close out the day at the office much less negative and irritable.
Making my way home at the close of each work day, and knowing that our evening routine may not quite be routine, it is nice to be able to recite my daily Rosary. In the time it takes to arrive home, I find that I can almost complete five decades, and if Jeannine decides to join in, we can finish the few remaining prayers before taking on the "real" business at hand: dinner.
You would think that the evenings at home, those few remaining hours before sunset, would be happy and productive hours. Sadly this is not always the case. Without intending to throw Jeannine under the bus, the nights are often fraught with contention as I struggle to encourage her to get some exercise done (taking a walk, dancing to her dance DVD), or goodness knows, take a shower, wash her hair and brush her teeth. My frustration builds and it is only as I leave her room after night prayers that I recall what Someone did for me, without complaint, but with humility and meekness. I have often turned to go back to Jeannine's room just to give her a hug and let her know I am sorry for any injustices I inflicted throughout the day, only to be met with a distinct look of bewilderment and impatience that I was "back again" to cause her more grief. Oh well.
So what it is worth, there will always be noise and static filling my days. Striving to avoid it is not practical unless I want to live in a cave by myself. Avoiding people and situations that impede my progress isn't the answer as it does not move me out of any comfort zone, encourage me to be brave and above all make me a better person. The answer is to embrace the noise, the static and commotion that fill my days with the idea that everything I do is a "prayer, work, joy, and sometimes a suffering."
Showing posts with label Personal Growth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal Growth. Show all posts
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Keeping Commitments
A little more than a year ago I started this blog with the stated goal to help me grow into a braver, more purposeful person. I also wanted to see if I could follow a dream I held in secret for most of my life: I really wanted to write and to see my writing published. I wanted to give voice to something that I believed was in me to do, but I wasn't sure what that would look like. The funny thing is that I did not see myself as a novel or short story writer, but I didn't want to limit myself to the occasional "letter to the editor" which most times were never published. Finding a niche was problematic until the advent of "the blog." Blogging was the answer: I can write and publish from the comfort and ease of my computer....except for one slight hitch.
The reality is that even writing takes effort, and those who know me well know that I never actively attempted to do anything big with purpose or direction, and certainly not anything which would require commitment. That is not to say that I did not accomplish or commit to anything; it is just that those accomplishments were more or less going to happen as a result of passing time. I went to college and graduated. I married and raised children. I have helped manage my husband's medical practice.
For me, though, these things are more a result of time moving on and their success is fully because of the grace of God. I, for all intents and purposes, never believed that I made any active effort to secure these successes or endured the setbacks: I genuinely believed that whatever happened, for good or ill, had been merely a matter of happenstance (not happenstance, I believe there are real reasons why things happen the way they do, and the Good Lord is the Author of all things, after all).
I digress. Full of focus and energy, with an unseen reading audience (no editor), I started the blog at the end of 2014. I promised myself that I would blog once a week. How difficult could that be? I have a blank computer screen and a head full of ideas. Putting out a blog entry once a week should be easy. Once a week. No problem.
Well that promise lasted as long as fresh kill among a pride of lions in the jungle. I neglected to consider that I was dealing with myself and there are certain hurdles (detailed above) to overcome.
So then I promised myself that I would blog twice a month (this promise, mind you, came in January 2015). My commitment dwindled yet again, and in February it went to once a month. I was able to keep that up through March. As pathetic as this has been to accept, I am not willing to give up. I asked myself what happened and the answer was surprisingly simple.
Bailing on the blog has not been for lack of subject matter, interest, or time. My life is rife with all sorts of topics that would be nice blog entries; I still want to pursue this sideline -- I need to pursue it; so it must be time.
Even that isn't accurate. If I want to intellectually honest about it, I do spend a great deal of time spinning my wheels. Ten months have passed since I last posted a blog and we are now in the double digits of January. I think about writing every day....I start blogs while I am driving, waiting for an appointment, brushing my teeth...I occasionally start blogs while I am falling asleep each night...the problem is they all stay in my head (or not) and never make it to the keyboard. Why? I am organized. I can get things done. I create to-do lists and check stuff off all the time. The problem is writing is never on the list. Ahhh....progress! Step 1: put this on the list.
It is more than just adding it to my to-do list: it boils down to habit and discipline. Throw mindfulness in there as well. The purpose and commitment I have made to better health and wellness, and the lessons I have learned to embrace the habits of health need to spread to my writing. If I can train myself to do little things that will move my writing and publishing forward in the same way that I approach my health and improving the health of those people I coach, I will make strides this year. Step 2: be mindful of opportunities for writing, even if it is only writing down ideas or life events that would be great blog entries.
This may be easier said than done as I find that as busy as my days can be, I still manage to find time to spend on the things that don't matter; well, it isn't that they don't matter...my family is better off with clean underwear after all...it is just that laundry is not the "one thing" that by doing will make all other things I have to do easier, and, like writing, it is not on the list. Step 3: No roadblocks! No sidetracking! Yes, and don't bother putting laundry on the list as it is apparently getting done without being there.
So for what it is worth, I am determined that 2016 will be a more productive writing year. The steps to which I have committed (now in writing) are purposeful; they are intentional; they even will make me a braver person because it takes courage for me to publicly commit to these resolves. How do I know I will make strides? I am certain of being more productive this year because in addition to my identified steps, Jeannine has said she will remind me.
The reality is that even writing takes effort, and those who know me well know that I never actively attempted to do anything big with purpose or direction, and certainly not anything which would require commitment. That is not to say that I did not accomplish or commit to anything; it is just that those accomplishments were more or less going to happen as a result of passing time. I went to college and graduated. I married and raised children. I have helped manage my husband's medical practice.
For me, though, these things are more a result of time moving on and their success is fully because of the grace of God. I, for all intents and purposes, never believed that I made any active effort to secure these successes or endured the setbacks: I genuinely believed that whatever happened, for good or ill, had been merely a matter of happenstance (not happenstance, I believe there are real reasons why things happen the way they do, and the Good Lord is the Author of all things, after all).
I digress. Full of focus and energy, with an unseen reading audience (no editor), I started the blog at the end of 2014. I promised myself that I would blog once a week. How difficult could that be? I have a blank computer screen and a head full of ideas. Putting out a blog entry once a week should be easy. Once a week. No problem.
Well that promise lasted as long as fresh kill among a pride of lions in the jungle. I neglected to consider that I was dealing with myself and there are certain hurdles (detailed above) to overcome.
So then I promised myself that I would blog twice a month (this promise, mind you, came in January 2015). My commitment dwindled yet again, and in February it went to once a month. I was able to keep that up through March. As pathetic as this has been to accept, I am not willing to give up. I asked myself what happened and the answer was surprisingly simple.
Bailing on the blog has not been for lack of subject matter, interest, or time. My life is rife with all sorts of topics that would be nice blog entries; I still want to pursue this sideline -- I need to pursue it; so it must be time.
Even that isn't accurate. If I want to intellectually honest about it, I do spend a great deal of time spinning my wheels. Ten months have passed since I last posted a blog and we are now in the double digits of January. I think about writing every day....I start blogs while I am driving, waiting for an appointment, brushing my teeth...I occasionally start blogs while I am falling asleep each night...the problem is they all stay in my head (or not) and never make it to the keyboard. Why? I am organized. I can get things done. I create to-do lists and check stuff off all the time. The problem is writing is never on the list. Ahhh....progress! Step 1: put this on the list.
It is more than just adding it to my to-do list: it boils down to habit and discipline. Throw mindfulness in there as well. The purpose and commitment I have made to better health and wellness, and the lessons I have learned to embrace the habits of health need to spread to my writing. If I can train myself to do little things that will move my writing and publishing forward in the same way that I approach my health and improving the health of those people I coach, I will make strides this year. Step 2: be mindful of opportunities for writing, even if it is only writing down ideas or life events that would be great blog entries.
This may be easier said than done as I find that as busy as my days can be, I still manage to find time to spend on the things that don't matter; well, it isn't that they don't matter...my family is better off with clean underwear after all...it is just that laundry is not the "one thing" that by doing will make all other things I have to do easier, and, like writing, it is not on the list. Step 3: No roadblocks! No sidetracking! Yes, and don't bother putting laundry on the list as it is apparently getting done without being there.
So for what it is worth, I am determined that 2016 will be a more productive writing year. The steps to which I have committed (now in writing) are purposeful; they are intentional; they even will make me a braver person because it takes courage for me to publicly commit to these resolves. How do I know I will make strides? I am certain of being more productive this year because in addition to my identified steps, Jeannine has said she will remind me.
Monday, March 2, 2015
It's March Madness (not)
As I sit at the kitchen table, laptop at the ready to muse about this or that topic of interest perhaps interesting only to me, I am distracted by the stunning day God has given me. The weather is just barely warm enough for me to open the sliding door, encouraging the slight breeze to find its way into the house. Ahhh, fresh air!
The sights of spring are rampant. I am sorry for all those family and friends at points east of Portland as they recover from the bitter winter weather of the past few weeks, but I cannot help but be inspired as I feel the sun's warmth streaming through the kitchen windows, see the stunningly blue sky, our purple magnolia tree, azalea bushes, camellia trees and daffodils in bloom. Such a contrast to the desolation I saw in my yard just a few weeks ago.
The sounds of an awakening nature are once again heard in the yard: I can hear our neighbor's chickens cackling in the distance and a convention (although I think it is called a murder, but that would destroy the alliteration) of crows flying overhead making the usual harsh noises of their breed. My wind chimes are softly singing as the breeze moves them, and the hummers are back chasing each other away from the feeders; their wings sounding like small reverberating engines as they dive bomb each other in and around the deck.
When "January Hope Moved to February Action," the result for me is that I have actually accomplished some of those things on my goals list (like putting them in writing). When February closed out yesterday, I can say that I am no longer padding around my house clenching a cup of hot something-or-other, mindlessly thinking about all the things I could and should do. I really took action on various aspects of my life and I believe that I am making some progress toward being a better, braver person. The interesting thing for me is that I found some of these actions had overlapped, making it easier to accomplish more goals than I had expected.
In my capacity as a mother with a beautiful child with Down Syndrome, this past month together Jeannine and I have made strides in bringing better health to her through her continued understanding and embracing the habits of health. The overlap here is that her success inspired me to reach out to one of the local DS groups that we dropped years ago as "life intervened" and we could not manage to stay connected. A braver me attended a "Mom's Night" this last week and for once I did not sit in a corner by myself just watching and listening. I found myself talking with other moms, hearing their stories, and sharing my own, and this brought a connectedness I had not ever experienced. It is going to be wonderful to continue the relationship with this group.
In my latest "brilliant career" (I have had perhaps 10 in the course of my life some of which I still have), as a health coach, I am taking a more active role in helping others not only find and maintain great physical and mental health (less stress and anxiety), but I have made strides in helping them find ways to make their dreams of a full, vibrant life a reality -- all this by helping others help themselves and others to wellness.
February also ushered in (as it usually does) the season of Lent. For Christians, Catholics in particular, it is a time of personally acknowledging that Our Lord and Our God gave all of Himself for us out of a deep and unconditional love, as well as grasping opportunities for us to reflect and make small acts of love in gratitude and reparation for our lack of charity.
Fr. Robert Barron is posting reflections for this season through the Word on Fire website, and his reflection for Day 10 was powerful for me. The reflection was about "the law of the gift." Using the Old Testament incident of God's test of Abraham in the call to sacrifice his son Isaac, Fr. Barron illustrates that the more a person is willing to give himself away, the more he will increase. Abraham was willing to give all of himself and all he loved dearly because God, his Creator, asked. In the end, God rewarded the depth and quality of Abraham's love, and repaid this willingness to give by giving his son back, securing God's promise that Abraham's progeny would number more than the stars in the heavens.
Conversely, the law further states that the more a person "clings" to himself the more he decreases. This makes total sense to me, for how can a person hope to grow (increase) in love or happiness or faith, without first giving themselves the opportunity? And how can one grasp those opportunities if they hold on (cling) to those things they are given? Like the magnolia tree or other plants in my yard that died in the harshness of winter, nature now rewards them in the blossoming and new growth of spring. As a person, if I do not give of myself and use the blessings and gifts God has given to me, how am I to find the joy and fulfillment of life (be that spiritual or temporal) God wants for me?
So for what it is worth, whatever it is that God has given me I should be ready to give it back if He asks for it. Should He ask for it, I should let it go no matter how painful, knowing in faith that it is for some greater purpose. January hope has moved to February action....February action now encompasses March mindfulness as I continue my quest for bravery and being a better person. I know I will need lots of prayers.
The sights of spring are rampant. I am sorry for all those family and friends at points east of Portland as they recover from the bitter winter weather of the past few weeks, but I cannot help but be inspired as I feel the sun's warmth streaming through the kitchen windows, see the stunningly blue sky, our purple magnolia tree, azalea bushes, camellia trees and daffodils in bloom. Such a contrast to the desolation I saw in my yard just a few weeks ago.
The sounds of an awakening nature are once again heard in the yard: I can hear our neighbor's chickens cackling in the distance and a convention (although I think it is called a murder, but that would destroy the alliteration) of crows flying overhead making the usual harsh noises of their breed. My wind chimes are softly singing as the breeze moves them, and the hummers are back chasing each other away from the feeders; their wings sounding like small reverberating engines as they dive bomb each other in and around the deck.
When "January Hope Moved to February Action," the result for me is that I have actually accomplished some of those things on my goals list (like putting them in writing). When February closed out yesterday, I can say that I am no longer padding around my house clenching a cup of hot something-or-other, mindlessly thinking about all the things I could and should do. I really took action on various aspects of my life and I believe that I am making some progress toward being a better, braver person. The interesting thing for me is that I found some of these actions had overlapped, making it easier to accomplish more goals than I had expected.
In my capacity as a mother with a beautiful child with Down Syndrome, this past month together Jeannine and I have made strides in bringing better health to her through her continued understanding and embracing the habits of health. The overlap here is that her success inspired me to reach out to one of the local DS groups that we dropped years ago as "life intervened" and we could not manage to stay connected. A braver me attended a "Mom's Night" this last week and for once I did not sit in a corner by myself just watching and listening. I found myself talking with other moms, hearing their stories, and sharing my own, and this brought a connectedness I had not ever experienced. It is going to be wonderful to continue the relationship with this group.
In my latest "brilliant career" (I have had perhaps 10 in the course of my life some of which I still have), as a health coach, I am taking a more active role in helping others not only find and maintain great physical and mental health (less stress and anxiety), but I have made strides in helping them find ways to make their dreams of a full, vibrant life a reality -- all this by helping others help themselves and others to wellness.
February also ushered in (as it usually does) the season of Lent. For Christians, Catholics in particular, it is a time of personally acknowledging that Our Lord and Our God gave all of Himself for us out of a deep and unconditional love, as well as grasping opportunities for us to reflect and make small acts of love in gratitude and reparation for our lack of charity.
Fr. Robert Barron is posting reflections for this season through the Word on Fire website, and his reflection for Day 10 was powerful for me. The reflection was about "the law of the gift." Using the Old Testament incident of God's test of Abraham in the call to sacrifice his son Isaac, Fr. Barron illustrates that the more a person is willing to give himself away, the more he will increase. Abraham was willing to give all of himself and all he loved dearly because God, his Creator, asked. In the end, God rewarded the depth and quality of Abraham's love, and repaid this willingness to give by giving his son back, securing God's promise that Abraham's progeny would number more than the stars in the heavens.
Conversely, the law further states that the more a person "clings" to himself the more he decreases. This makes total sense to me, for how can a person hope to grow (increase) in love or happiness or faith, without first giving themselves the opportunity? And how can one grasp those opportunities if they hold on (cling) to those things they are given? Like the magnolia tree or other plants in my yard that died in the harshness of winter, nature now rewards them in the blossoming and new growth of spring. As a person, if I do not give of myself and use the blessings and gifts God has given to me, how am I to find the joy and fulfillment of life (be that spiritual or temporal) God wants for me?
So for what it is worth, whatever it is that God has given me I should be ready to give it back if He asks for it. Should He ask for it, I should let it go no matter how painful, knowing in faith that it is for some greater purpose. January hope has moved to February action....February action now encompasses March mindfulness as I continue my quest for bravery and being a better person. I know I will need lots of prayers.
Sunday, January 25, 2015
January Hope Moves to February Action
Here it is, coming on the last week of January, and in the interest of being brave (which is one reason why I chose to start this blog), it is time to take stock. "Of what?" you may ask.
Of many things, really. I have always loved January for a variety of reasons. On a selfish level, it is the month in which I was born. It is also the month in which I was married. The fact that it is in the winter season, with the sometimes bone-chilling temperatures, the desolation of shortened daylight, the compelling bleakness of bare trees and my backyard devoid of all the colors from flowers and shrubs doesn't seem to bother me. I love being able to slow down to hibernation-mode and pad around my home in an oversized sweatshirt, slacks and thick socks, build a fire and read a book or listen to music....and let my mind mindlessly wander to things that I would like to improve in my house, my yard, my relationships and the like.
In its own way January is the most hopeful month of the year. The sorrows, frustrations and pain of the previous year are gone. A new year begins with all the resolve and energy that somehow things are going to be different. Yet how many of those dreams are quickly abandoned by the end of January (or even before) simply because of inaction? So it is time to take stock because I have decided if I don't check in with myself on a regular basis, this year will be as others before: months flying by, and at the close of those 12 months all I have to report is that I made it through another year.
I have read and heard over and over again that "if it is not written down, it won't be done." I sort of believe this is true. In all those years chasing children from school to school, managing what really was simple household, running errands and the like, I did feel so wonderfully successful as I checked things off my "goals for the day" list. The game of getting those tasks checked off was extremely important, too. If on the days that the dozen or so things I "had" to do even one thing did not get done, my day was a waste. I failed. I was somehow not the best person I should be.
Well, I stopped the "goals for the day" list many years ago, mostly because I did not want to continue to feel as if I was a failure, and it zapped my energy to sit down and write one. The other thing, too, was that I was getting far too clever at convincing myself that I had actually completed all those things on the list, when in fact, some things were only partially or minimally done. Laundry, for example, was one of those things that I could say was really "completed" even if all the clothes were merely washed and dried. What did it matter if they were not sorted and put away?
It is now apparent to me that this sort of "let life happen" approach I have been using was not getting me where I wanted to be, even though I didn't really know where that was exactly. Deciding to put into action those "mindless wanderings" of these sometimes bleak January days, I have to now take stock and see what I have accomplished. This would be much easier if I had written these things down...it does make the process of taking stock much easier.
So for what it is worth, I have one week to accomplish a (haha) "laundry list" of things, which will be miraculous since most of these things are still in my head and run the gamut of my various current careers (health coach, office manager, mom....). At least I have been brave enough to recognize what I need to do (like put my mindless wanderings into actionable goals) and look forward to moving the hope that January brings into February.
Of many things, really. I have always loved January for a variety of reasons. On a selfish level, it is the month in which I was born. It is also the month in which I was married. The fact that it is in the winter season, with the sometimes bone-chilling temperatures, the desolation of shortened daylight, the compelling bleakness of bare trees and my backyard devoid of all the colors from flowers and shrubs doesn't seem to bother me. I love being able to slow down to hibernation-mode and pad around my home in an oversized sweatshirt, slacks and thick socks, build a fire and read a book or listen to music....and let my mind mindlessly wander to things that I would like to improve in my house, my yard, my relationships and the like.
In its own way January is the most hopeful month of the year. The sorrows, frustrations and pain of the previous year are gone. A new year begins with all the resolve and energy that somehow things are going to be different. Yet how many of those dreams are quickly abandoned by the end of January (or even before) simply because of inaction? So it is time to take stock because I have decided if I don't check in with myself on a regular basis, this year will be as others before: months flying by, and at the close of those 12 months all I have to report is that I made it through another year.
I have read and heard over and over again that "if it is not written down, it won't be done." I sort of believe this is true. In all those years chasing children from school to school, managing what really was simple household, running errands and the like, I did feel so wonderfully successful as I checked things off my "goals for the day" list. The game of getting those tasks checked off was extremely important, too. If on the days that the dozen or so things I "had" to do even one thing did not get done, my day was a waste. I failed. I was somehow not the best person I should be.
Well, I stopped the "goals for the day" list many years ago, mostly because I did not want to continue to feel as if I was a failure, and it zapped my energy to sit down and write one. The other thing, too, was that I was getting far too clever at convincing myself that I had actually completed all those things on the list, when in fact, some things were only partially or minimally done. Laundry, for example, was one of those things that I could say was really "completed" even if all the clothes were merely washed and dried. What did it matter if they were not sorted and put away?
It is now apparent to me that this sort of "let life happen" approach I have been using was not getting me where I wanted to be, even though I didn't really know where that was exactly. Deciding to put into action those "mindless wanderings" of these sometimes bleak January days, I have to now take stock and see what I have accomplished. This would be much easier if I had written these things down...it does make the process of taking stock much easier.
So for what it is worth, I have one week to accomplish a (haha) "laundry list" of things, which will be miraculous since most of these things are still in my head and run the gamut of my various current careers (health coach, office manager, mom....). At least I have been brave enough to recognize what I need to do (like put my mindless wanderings into actionable goals) and look forward to moving the hope that January brings into February.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Branching Out of the Comfort Zone
It is difficult to believe that we have entered into the final month of 2014. For most of us it has been a roller-coaster ride of enormous speed, twists, turns and topsy-turvy events. Many among my acquaintance cannot wait until 2015 bursts forth from the future into present time; others are not so sure. This past year has been one of self-reflection for me, as life has intervened and required more action and planning on my part than I have ever remembered. In this last month, December 2014, I am not waiting for the ball to drop or the champagne corks to pop to take on some new directions in my life.
I have never been a person to seek out challenges, plan a course of action and follow through on it, or take on something that could not be concluded in a week or less. Generally speaking, I have just let life happen and have made choices based on what seemed to be reasonable at the time. I have to say that this method of getting through life worked quite well for me....until these last few years. As my children have grown, parents have aged or passed to a better place, and business changes, it dawned on me that I should be more brave. Starting this blog is one of my firsts acts of courage and determination to step out of the shadows to see where it takes me.
The first thing that I have noticed in this step into the sun, as it were, is that there are many creative people out and about. It took me 20 minutes to find a .blogspot name that wasn't taken, but at the same time one that I could easily remember. Trying to settle on a theme was another challenge: perhaps unlike most people, I don't have a "passion" for anything in particular. I have friends who love to garden; I have friends who love anything that has to do with knitting or yarn work; I have friends who are passionate about wine and food. I have secretly admired them for years because I just could not find anything that interested me enough to pursue as a hobby.
So I took to heart an exercise I read about whose purpose was to help me identify and focus on what mattered most, what talents and abilities were sitting dormant inside just waiting be born. After this self reflection and writing down all my interests (it is harder than it sounds), step two required that I go to those people who know me best and find out what they see in me that I can't. It was very telling that my spouse of 31 years had a difficult time coming up with anything apart from a great talent to argue with him. Other opinions are still pending, which does not bode well. Could I be one of those persons born with absolutely no talent and ability other than to breathe? Wow, the realization is quite humbling.
In a previous life I taught writing and grammar to middle schoolers. I liked teaching it, and in the course of this labor I discovered that I also liked writing. Through the years I have written essays on many topics, but was not brave enough to throw these musings out into the marketplace. A few were published in the local paper, but the hope that some "brilliant editor" would read these wonders of the pen and offer me a job never materialized.
So for what it's worth, this last month of 2014 is the beginning of a braver, more focused, goal setting and goal achieving me. I hope you follow along.
I have never been a person to seek out challenges, plan a course of action and follow through on it, or take on something that could not be concluded in a week or less. Generally speaking, I have just let life happen and have made choices based on what seemed to be reasonable at the time. I have to say that this method of getting through life worked quite well for me....until these last few years. As my children have grown, parents have aged or passed to a better place, and business changes, it dawned on me that I should be more brave. Starting this blog is one of my firsts acts of courage and determination to step out of the shadows to see where it takes me.
The first thing that I have noticed in this step into the sun, as it were, is that there are many creative people out and about. It took me 20 minutes to find a .blogspot name that wasn't taken, but at the same time one that I could easily remember. Trying to settle on a theme was another challenge: perhaps unlike most people, I don't have a "passion" for anything in particular. I have friends who love to garden; I have friends who love anything that has to do with knitting or yarn work; I have friends who are passionate about wine and food. I have secretly admired them for years because I just could not find anything that interested me enough to pursue as a hobby.
So I took to heart an exercise I read about whose purpose was to help me identify and focus on what mattered most, what talents and abilities were sitting dormant inside just waiting be born. After this self reflection and writing down all my interests (it is harder than it sounds), step two required that I go to those people who know me best and find out what they see in me that I can't. It was very telling that my spouse of 31 years had a difficult time coming up with anything apart from a great talent to argue with him. Other opinions are still pending, which does not bode well. Could I be one of those persons born with absolutely no talent and ability other than to breathe? Wow, the realization is quite humbling.
In a previous life I taught writing and grammar to middle schoolers. I liked teaching it, and in the course of this labor I discovered that I also liked writing. Through the years I have written essays on many topics, but was not brave enough to throw these musings out into the marketplace. A few were published in the local paper, but the hope that some "brilliant editor" would read these wonders of the pen and offer me a job never materialized.
So for what it's worth, this last month of 2014 is the beginning of a braver, more focused, goal setting and goal achieving me. I hope you follow along.
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