One of the greatest things that causes knots to form in my stomach has to do with travel. Just the thought of going anywhere I have never been, traveling in ways that I am not comfortable, generally makes me sick to my stomach. I am so reluctant to take a trip anywhere (even for one day), I will usually find some way to get out of it.
Several months ago, one of my grade school friends happened to mention on FB that she would be house-sitting about 200 miles from my home, and I (not believing that anyone would take me up on a offer to visit me) suggested we should get together. Not having seen each other for more than 40 years, the thought of reconnecting was apparently appealing to her and she agreed. In the next few months we did not communicate much, so that by the end of January I had little thought that we would see each other and that I had dodged a bullet.
With due diligence, though, I reached out to see if she was still in the area and if she was open to meeting. It turns out she was and she suggested that we meet somewhere between where she was and where I live. She hoped to explore a little of Oregon before she traveled back to the midwest, so she suggested that we meet in Albany.
Albany? That was a little baffling to me because you have to understand that I have been in Oregon more than 30 years and I could not for the life of me figure out why she suggested Albany instead of her just coming to Portland, where there is (of course) more to see and do (and I would not have to go anywhere). My recollection of Albany was that of the stench from the paper mill which occasionally wafted over the interstate as its noxious odor flattened unsuspecting travelers as they passed through on their way north or south. I couldn't figure out the appeal of such a place.
As the day approached for my journey south, I began to feel that uncomfortably familiar knot begin to form in my stomach. Panic set in as I could not come up with one honest reason why I should cancel seeing a longtime friend simply because I was to be whisked out of my comfort zone to do something which for me was very brave. The morning arrived, and as Janice and I had agreed to meet at the Visitor's Center, I plugged the address into my iPhone and off I went.
To alleviate my discomfort, I convinced myself that the trip was really quite simple and easy: I just had to get on the interstate and head south. It was just 90 minutes. No worries. As I navigated through the remnants of rush hour traffic, I soon found myself clipping along through some familiar cities on the way. Tigard-Tualatin-Wilsonville-Woodburn quickly came and went, and I was feeling fine until I hit the twilight zone between Woodburn and Salem. Having never driven this stretch I was beginning to worry. I had completed all my morning prayers and then some, which left my mind to wander to the unsettling place of "I am alone in this car, and I really do not know where I am going."
Something amazing happened. Focusing on being a courteous driver and staying in the middle lane until it became painfully obvious that I needed to pass, which I was able to do many times and then politely return to the middle lane to let the speeders go by, it dawned on me somewhere between Scio and Albany that the trip (so far) had been uneventful. I am actually on an adventure by myself, and it was not half bad! I am breaking through obstacles and feeling great!
Then the voice of "Daniel" (my name for Siri) intruded on my new-found sense of confidence to let me know that in two miles I needed to "take Exit 234B, on right, to Albany." It did not help that the sunshine I had when leaving Portland had now changed to grey dreariness and occasional rain. As the exit approached, I moved into the right lane, rapidly advancing on not one, but two semi trucks which obstructed my view of the exit ramp.
Thankfully they continued their journey south and I was able to flawlessly exit to my travel's next phase: Albany City Center. At this point I was grateful for the reduced speed, which allowed me to process Daniel's next commands as they were coming more frequently. It also helped that I was followed down the state highway by the local law enforcement, who followed me for a few miles until Daniel instructed me to dump off the highway for the main drag into city center. As I did not want to risk a traffic infraction, I dutifully complied with all the traffic laws I could remember.
I found the Visitor's Center with little trouble, arriving about 20 minutes ahead of the appointed meeting time. Apparently Albany is home to some 700 historic Victorian homes, and the city makes the most of this at various times throughout the year with festivals and open houses....February does not happen to be one of them. Janice arrived, and, armed with guide maps and such, we jaunted off on our excursion. Part of the tour was walking, which was fine in spite of the occasional downpour. In our excitement to get caught up on 40 years of life, we just started out not paying attention to our direction.
It turned out that Janice's sense of direction was as good as mine, and it did not take us long to figure out we did not know where we were going. We turned around, making our way back to the Visitor's Center where we regrouped. Suffice it to say that we did get our bearings and headed to the downtown area where we explored a really neat antique mall for an hour or so. Our meanderings through the mall allowed us to talk about so many things and it was a pleasure to be taken back all those years and learn more about each other. The mall provided an unexpected connection that bridged some of the conversations: interspersed throughout the vintage Victorian era items, we found things that opened up memories of our own growing up -- silly things, really, like '60s style chairs and dishes we both recalled from our childhood. The connections we shared were much more than I expected.
We left the mall and continued around the city until we decided to find lunch. The beauty and the challenge of being in the historic district of an unfamiliar place was that there were little to no chain restaurants or fast food places. As it began to rain again, we ducked inside the first place we saw: Novak's Hungarian Restaurant.
Just when I was thinking that all was well with my comfort zone, the knot came back. I never willing eat Hungarian food (or any ethnic food for that matter), and the only thing I could envision was lots of cooked cabbage, and indeed, as we opened the door, the smell inside was overwhelmingly pungent with the scent of cooked cabbage.
The interior was nicely decorated in dark woodwork and the tables were covered with white tablecloths. We were seated at a small table and as I perused the menu my heart sank: it was a beautiful menu, mind you, complete with all-things Hungarian but not much on the menu that supports a healthy lifestyle. I have to admit that mashed potatoes, spaetzel, gravy covered chicken and beef, schnitzels, decadent European desserts, and an all-you-can-eat buffet (just in case you can't decide on what you want) seemed pretty tempting, but in the end I decided to go adventurous and opted for the soup du jour: green bean, and a small salad.
My negative habit of pre-conceived notions then took over, and it dawned on me that I was totally unsure what would be placed before me. In an effort to visualize what I might be consuming, my mind quickly ran through all the vegetable-type soups I knew, from split pea, tomato, potato, carrot, and they all had one thing in common -- they were pureed. The idea of pureed green beans in soup form reminded me of the baby food I fed my children, and I almost immediately regretted my decision. The server, however, informed me that it was her particular favorite of all the house-made soups; and while she appeared to be a rational person, I admit to being uneasy, and solaced myself with the thought that at least I would have a salad to tide over me until my next meal.
Janice was just about as adventurous as I, and she ordered a large salad with chicken (my first choice, except for the chicken). We were having a grand time talking about life and perspective and our parents and siblings when lunch arrived. So much for pre-conceived notions. Much to my delighted surprise, our server (who I can now say without hesitation is totally rational when it comes to soup, at least), put before me a cup of the most appealing hot soup...not pureed, but a beautiful broth of soup, rich with cut green beans, carrots and here and there a spaetzel or two (or three). Forget the salad, the soup (and the homemade bread) was my entire focus for the meal.
After lunch, Janice and I headed back to the Visitor's Center, as our cars were parked close by. The other part of the historic tour was to be completed by car, and for some reason we decided that I would drive. Getting better directions from the ladies at the Visitor's Center, Janice and I proceeded to our first destination. What we soon discovered was that the homes, if not for sale, were occupied, so there was no way for us to go through them. We drove from one side of the Historic District to the other, navigating in and around one-way streets, increasing traffic and numbers of pedestrians emerging from between parked cars, just to look at the outside architecture. At length, I asked Janice if she had a time schedule to keep. It was approaching mid-afternoon and I began to get that knot in my stomach thinking about getting back to Portland, the rush hour traffic and the little yellow you-are-perilously-close-to-empty gas light that just flashed on my dashboard.
She had no schedule but was sensitive to mine. She knew that I was to leave the next day for a family trip to the coast (yet another travel story), and all the organization that had to happen before leaving. We went back to the Visitor's Center and parted -- she south to Eugene, and me to use the restroom at the Visitor's Center before embarking on my next adventure: the search for a gas station.
So for what it's worth, I made the return to Portland without incident. As I reflect on the day, I am grateful to Janice for many things. If she had not ventured my way and (unknowingly) pulled me out of my reluctance to embrace a profoundly personal challenge -- an obstacle that has paralyzed me for much of my life -- I would still get sick at the thought of travel....well, I still get sick, but just not as much. My comfort zone, I am happy to say, just expanded on a variety of levels, not just traveling. So Janice, if you happen to come back this way, maybe we will embark on another adventure -- perhaps on electric bicycles (or not).
Showing posts with label Comfort Zone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comfort Zone. Show all posts
Saturday, March 5, 2016
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Keeping Commitments
A little more than a year ago I started this blog with the stated goal to help me grow into a braver, more purposeful person. I also wanted to see if I could follow a dream I held in secret for most of my life: I really wanted to write and to see my writing published. I wanted to give voice to something that I believed was in me to do, but I wasn't sure what that would look like. The funny thing is that I did not see myself as a novel or short story writer, but I didn't want to limit myself to the occasional "letter to the editor" which most times were never published. Finding a niche was problematic until the advent of "the blog." Blogging was the answer: I can write and publish from the comfort and ease of my computer....except for one slight hitch.
The reality is that even writing takes effort, and those who know me well know that I never actively attempted to do anything big with purpose or direction, and certainly not anything which would require commitment. That is not to say that I did not accomplish or commit to anything; it is just that those accomplishments were more or less going to happen as a result of passing time. I went to college and graduated. I married and raised children. I have helped manage my husband's medical practice.
For me, though, these things are more a result of time moving on and their success is fully because of the grace of God. I, for all intents and purposes, never believed that I made any active effort to secure these successes or endured the setbacks: I genuinely believed that whatever happened, for good or ill, had been merely a matter of happenstance (not happenstance, I believe there are real reasons why things happen the way they do, and the Good Lord is the Author of all things, after all).
I digress. Full of focus and energy, with an unseen reading audience (no editor), I started the blog at the end of 2014. I promised myself that I would blog once a week. How difficult could that be? I have a blank computer screen and a head full of ideas. Putting out a blog entry once a week should be easy. Once a week. No problem.
Well that promise lasted as long as fresh kill among a pride of lions in the jungle. I neglected to consider that I was dealing with myself and there are certain hurdles (detailed above) to overcome.
So then I promised myself that I would blog twice a month (this promise, mind you, came in January 2015). My commitment dwindled yet again, and in February it went to once a month. I was able to keep that up through March. As pathetic as this has been to accept, I am not willing to give up. I asked myself what happened and the answer was surprisingly simple.
Bailing on the blog has not been for lack of subject matter, interest, or time. My life is rife with all sorts of topics that would be nice blog entries; I still want to pursue this sideline -- I need to pursue it; so it must be time.
Even that isn't accurate. If I want to intellectually honest about it, I do spend a great deal of time spinning my wheels. Ten months have passed since I last posted a blog and we are now in the double digits of January. I think about writing every day....I start blogs while I am driving, waiting for an appointment, brushing my teeth...I occasionally start blogs while I am falling asleep each night...the problem is they all stay in my head (or not) and never make it to the keyboard. Why? I am organized. I can get things done. I create to-do lists and check stuff off all the time. The problem is writing is never on the list. Ahhh....progress! Step 1: put this on the list.
It is more than just adding it to my to-do list: it boils down to habit and discipline. Throw mindfulness in there as well. The purpose and commitment I have made to better health and wellness, and the lessons I have learned to embrace the habits of health need to spread to my writing. If I can train myself to do little things that will move my writing and publishing forward in the same way that I approach my health and improving the health of those people I coach, I will make strides this year. Step 2: be mindful of opportunities for writing, even if it is only writing down ideas or life events that would be great blog entries.
This may be easier said than done as I find that as busy as my days can be, I still manage to find time to spend on the things that don't matter; well, it isn't that they don't matter...my family is better off with clean underwear after all...it is just that laundry is not the "one thing" that by doing will make all other things I have to do easier, and, like writing, it is not on the list. Step 3: No roadblocks! No sidetracking! Yes, and don't bother putting laundry on the list as it is apparently getting done without being there.
So for what it is worth, I am determined that 2016 will be a more productive writing year. The steps to which I have committed (now in writing) are purposeful; they are intentional; they even will make me a braver person because it takes courage for me to publicly commit to these resolves. How do I know I will make strides? I am certain of being more productive this year because in addition to my identified steps, Jeannine has said she will remind me.
The reality is that even writing takes effort, and those who know me well know that I never actively attempted to do anything big with purpose or direction, and certainly not anything which would require commitment. That is not to say that I did not accomplish or commit to anything; it is just that those accomplishments were more or less going to happen as a result of passing time. I went to college and graduated. I married and raised children. I have helped manage my husband's medical practice.
For me, though, these things are more a result of time moving on and their success is fully because of the grace of God. I, for all intents and purposes, never believed that I made any active effort to secure these successes or endured the setbacks: I genuinely believed that whatever happened, for good or ill, had been merely a matter of happenstance (not happenstance, I believe there are real reasons why things happen the way they do, and the Good Lord is the Author of all things, after all).
I digress. Full of focus and energy, with an unseen reading audience (no editor), I started the blog at the end of 2014. I promised myself that I would blog once a week. How difficult could that be? I have a blank computer screen and a head full of ideas. Putting out a blog entry once a week should be easy. Once a week. No problem.
Well that promise lasted as long as fresh kill among a pride of lions in the jungle. I neglected to consider that I was dealing with myself and there are certain hurdles (detailed above) to overcome.
So then I promised myself that I would blog twice a month (this promise, mind you, came in January 2015). My commitment dwindled yet again, and in February it went to once a month. I was able to keep that up through March. As pathetic as this has been to accept, I am not willing to give up. I asked myself what happened and the answer was surprisingly simple.
Bailing on the blog has not been for lack of subject matter, interest, or time. My life is rife with all sorts of topics that would be nice blog entries; I still want to pursue this sideline -- I need to pursue it; so it must be time.
Even that isn't accurate. If I want to intellectually honest about it, I do spend a great deal of time spinning my wheels. Ten months have passed since I last posted a blog and we are now in the double digits of January. I think about writing every day....I start blogs while I am driving, waiting for an appointment, brushing my teeth...I occasionally start blogs while I am falling asleep each night...the problem is they all stay in my head (or not) and never make it to the keyboard. Why? I am organized. I can get things done. I create to-do lists and check stuff off all the time. The problem is writing is never on the list. Ahhh....progress! Step 1: put this on the list.
It is more than just adding it to my to-do list: it boils down to habit and discipline. Throw mindfulness in there as well. The purpose and commitment I have made to better health and wellness, and the lessons I have learned to embrace the habits of health need to spread to my writing. If I can train myself to do little things that will move my writing and publishing forward in the same way that I approach my health and improving the health of those people I coach, I will make strides this year. Step 2: be mindful of opportunities for writing, even if it is only writing down ideas or life events that would be great blog entries.
This may be easier said than done as I find that as busy as my days can be, I still manage to find time to spend on the things that don't matter; well, it isn't that they don't matter...my family is better off with clean underwear after all...it is just that laundry is not the "one thing" that by doing will make all other things I have to do easier, and, like writing, it is not on the list. Step 3: No roadblocks! No sidetracking! Yes, and don't bother putting laundry on the list as it is apparently getting done without being there.
So for what it is worth, I am determined that 2016 will be a more productive writing year. The steps to which I have committed (now in writing) are purposeful; they are intentional; they even will make me a braver person because it takes courage for me to publicly commit to these resolves. How do I know I will make strides? I am certain of being more productive this year because in addition to my identified steps, Jeannine has said she will remind me.
Monday, March 2, 2015
It's March Madness (not)
As I sit at the kitchen table, laptop at the ready to muse about this or that topic of interest perhaps interesting only to me, I am distracted by the stunning day God has given me. The weather is just barely warm enough for me to open the sliding door, encouraging the slight breeze to find its way into the house. Ahhh, fresh air!
The sights of spring are rampant. I am sorry for all those family and friends at points east of Portland as they recover from the bitter winter weather of the past few weeks, but I cannot help but be inspired as I feel the sun's warmth streaming through the kitchen windows, see the stunningly blue sky, our purple magnolia tree, azalea bushes, camellia trees and daffodils in bloom. Such a contrast to the desolation I saw in my yard just a few weeks ago.
The sounds of an awakening nature are once again heard in the yard: I can hear our neighbor's chickens cackling in the distance and a convention (although I think it is called a murder, but that would destroy the alliteration) of crows flying overhead making the usual harsh noises of their breed. My wind chimes are softly singing as the breeze moves them, and the hummers are back chasing each other away from the feeders; their wings sounding like small reverberating engines as they dive bomb each other in and around the deck.
When "January Hope Moved to February Action," the result for me is that I have actually accomplished some of those things on my goals list (like putting them in writing). When February closed out yesterday, I can say that I am no longer padding around my house clenching a cup of hot something-or-other, mindlessly thinking about all the things I could and should do. I really took action on various aspects of my life and I believe that I am making some progress toward being a better, braver person. The interesting thing for me is that I found some of these actions had overlapped, making it easier to accomplish more goals than I had expected.
In my capacity as a mother with a beautiful child with Down Syndrome, this past month together Jeannine and I have made strides in bringing better health to her through her continued understanding and embracing the habits of health. The overlap here is that her success inspired me to reach out to one of the local DS groups that we dropped years ago as "life intervened" and we could not manage to stay connected. A braver me attended a "Mom's Night" this last week and for once I did not sit in a corner by myself just watching and listening. I found myself talking with other moms, hearing their stories, and sharing my own, and this brought a connectedness I had not ever experienced. It is going to be wonderful to continue the relationship with this group.
In my latest "brilliant career" (I have had perhaps 10 in the course of my life some of which I still have), as a health coach, I am taking a more active role in helping others not only find and maintain great physical and mental health (less stress and anxiety), but I have made strides in helping them find ways to make their dreams of a full, vibrant life a reality -- all this by helping others help themselves and others to wellness.
February also ushered in (as it usually does) the season of Lent. For Christians, Catholics in particular, it is a time of personally acknowledging that Our Lord and Our God gave all of Himself for us out of a deep and unconditional love, as well as grasping opportunities for us to reflect and make small acts of love in gratitude and reparation for our lack of charity.
Fr. Robert Barron is posting reflections for this season through the Word on Fire website, and his reflection for Day 10 was powerful for me. The reflection was about "the law of the gift." Using the Old Testament incident of God's test of Abraham in the call to sacrifice his son Isaac, Fr. Barron illustrates that the more a person is willing to give himself away, the more he will increase. Abraham was willing to give all of himself and all he loved dearly because God, his Creator, asked. In the end, God rewarded the depth and quality of Abraham's love, and repaid this willingness to give by giving his son back, securing God's promise that Abraham's progeny would number more than the stars in the heavens.
Conversely, the law further states that the more a person "clings" to himself the more he decreases. This makes total sense to me, for how can a person hope to grow (increase) in love or happiness or faith, without first giving themselves the opportunity? And how can one grasp those opportunities if they hold on (cling) to those things they are given? Like the magnolia tree or other plants in my yard that died in the harshness of winter, nature now rewards them in the blossoming and new growth of spring. As a person, if I do not give of myself and use the blessings and gifts God has given to me, how am I to find the joy and fulfillment of life (be that spiritual or temporal) God wants for me?
So for what it is worth, whatever it is that God has given me I should be ready to give it back if He asks for it. Should He ask for it, I should let it go no matter how painful, knowing in faith that it is for some greater purpose. January hope has moved to February action....February action now encompasses March mindfulness as I continue my quest for bravery and being a better person. I know I will need lots of prayers.
The sights of spring are rampant. I am sorry for all those family and friends at points east of Portland as they recover from the bitter winter weather of the past few weeks, but I cannot help but be inspired as I feel the sun's warmth streaming through the kitchen windows, see the stunningly blue sky, our purple magnolia tree, azalea bushes, camellia trees and daffodils in bloom. Such a contrast to the desolation I saw in my yard just a few weeks ago.
The sounds of an awakening nature are once again heard in the yard: I can hear our neighbor's chickens cackling in the distance and a convention (although I think it is called a murder, but that would destroy the alliteration) of crows flying overhead making the usual harsh noises of their breed. My wind chimes are softly singing as the breeze moves them, and the hummers are back chasing each other away from the feeders; their wings sounding like small reverberating engines as they dive bomb each other in and around the deck.
When "January Hope Moved to February Action," the result for me is that I have actually accomplished some of those things on my goals list (like putting them in writing). When February closed out yesterday, I can say that I am no longer padding around my house clenching a cup of hot something-or-other, mindlessly thinking about all the things I could and should do. I really took action on various aspects of my life and I believe that I am making some progress toward being a better, braver person. The interesting thing for me is that I found some of these actions had overlapped, making it easier to accomplish more goals than I had expected.
In my capacity as a mother with a beautiful child with Down Syndrome, this past month together Jeannine and I have made strides in bringing better health to her through her continued understanding and embracing the habits of health. The overlap here is that her success inspired me to reach out to one of the local DS groups that we dropped years ago as "life intervened" and we could not manage to stay connected. A braver me attended a "Mom's Night" this last week and for once I did not sit in a corner by myself just watching and listening. I found myself talking with other moms, hearing their stories, and sharing my own, and this brought a connectedness I had not ever experienced. It is going to be wonderful to continue the relationship with this group.
In my latest "brilliant career" (I have had perhaps 10 in the course of my life some of which I still have), as a health coach, I am taking a more active role in helping others not only find and maintain great physical and mental health (less stress and anxiety), but I have made strides in helping them find ways to make their dreams of a full, vibrant life a reality -- all this by helping others help themselves and others to wellness.
February also ushered in (as it usually does) the season of Lent. For Christians, Catholics in particular, it is a time of personally acknowledging that Our Lord and Our God gave all of Himself for us out of a deep and unconditional love, as well as grasping opportunities for us to reflect and make small acts of love in gratitude and reparation for our lack of charity.
Fr. Robert Barron is posting reflections for this season through the Word on Fire website, and his reflection for Day 10 was powerful for me. The reflection was about "the law of the gift." Using the Old Testament incident of God's test of Abraham in the call to sacrifice his son Isaac, Fr. Barron illustrates that the more a person is willing to give himself away, the more he will increase. Abraham was willing to give all of himself and all he loved dearly because God, his Creator, asked. In the end, God rewarded the depth and quality of Abraham's love, and repaid this willingness to give by giving his son back, securing God's promise that Abraham's progeny would number more than the stars in the heavens.
Conversely, the law further states that the more a person "clings" to himself the more he decreases. This makes total sense to me, for how can a person hope to grow (increase) in love or happiness or faith, without first giving themselves the opportunity? And how can one grasp those opportunities if they hold on (cling) to those things they are given? Like the magnolia tree or other plants in my yard that died in the harshness of winter, nature now rewards them in the blossoming and new growth of spring. As a person, if I do not give of myself and use the blessings and gifts God has given to me, how am I to find the joy and fulfillment of life (be that spiritual or temporal) God wants for me?
So for what it is worth, whatever it is that God has given me I should be ready to give it back if He asks for it. Should He ask for it, I should let it go no matter how painful, knowing in faith that it is for some greater purpose. January hope has moved to February action....February action now encompasses March mindfulness as I continue my quest for bravery and being a better person. I know I will need lots of prayers.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Branching Out of the Comfort Zone
It is difficult to believe that we have entered into the final month of 2014. For most of us it has been a roller-coaster ride of enormous speed, twists, turns and topsy-turvy events. Many among my acquaintance cannot wait until 2015 bursts forth from the future into present time; others are not so sure. This past year has been one of self-reflection for me, as life has intervened and required more action and planning on my part than I have ever remembered. In this last month, December 2014, I am not waiting for the ball to drop or the champagne corks to pop to take on some new directions in my life.
I have never been a person to seek out challenges, plan a course of action and follow through on it, or take on something that could not be concluded in a week or less. Generally speaking, I have just let life happen and have made choices based on what seemed to be reasonable at the time. I have to say that this method of getting through life worked quite well for me....until these last few years. As my children have grown, parents have aged or passed to a better place, and business changes, it dawned on me that I should be more brave. Starting this blog is one of my firsts acts of courage and determination to step out of the shadows to see where it takes me.
The first thing that I have noticed in this step into the sun, as it were, is that there are many creative people out and about. It took me 20 minutes to find a .blogspot name that wasn't taken, but at the same time one that I could easily remember. Trying to settle on a theme was another challenge: perhaps unlike most people, I don't have a "passion" for anything in particular. I have friends who love to garden; I have friends who love anything that has to do with knitting or yarn work; I have friends who are passionate about wine and food. I have secretly admired them for years because I just could not find anything that interested me enough to pursue as a hobby.
So I took to heart an exercise I read about whose purpose was to help me identify and focus on what mattered most, what talents and abilities were sitting dormant inside just waiting be born. After this self reflection and writing down all my interests (it is harder than it sounds), step two required that I go to those people who know me best and find out what they see in me that I can't. It was very telling that my spouse of 31 years had a difficult time coming up with anything apart from a great talent to argue with him. Other opinions are still pending, which does not bode well. Could I be one of those persons born with absolutely no talent and ability other than to breathe? Wow, the realization is quite humbling.
In a previous life I taught writing and grammar to middle schoolers. I liked teaching it, and in the course of this labor I discovered that I also liked writing. Through the years I have written essays on many topics, but was not brave enough to throw these musings out into the marketplace. A few were published in the local paper, but the hope that some "brilliant editor" would read these wonders of the pen and offer me a job never materialized.
So for what it's worth, this last month of 2014 is the beginning of a braver, more focused, goal setting and goal achieving me. I hope you follow along.
I have never been a person to seek out challenges, plan a course of action and follow through on it, or take on something that could not be concluded in a week or less. Generally speaking, I have just let life happen and have made choices based on what seemed to be reasonable at the time. I have to say that this method of getting through life worked quite well for me....until these last few years. As my children have grown, parents have aged or passed to a better place, and business changes, it dawned on me that I should be more brave. Starting this blog is one of my firsts acts of courage and determination to step out of the shadows to see where it takes me.
The first thing that I have noticed in this step into the sun, as it were, is that there are many creative people out and about. It took me 20 minutes to find a .blogspot name that wasn't taken, but at the same time one that I could easily remember. Trying to settle on a theme was another challenge: perhaps unlike most people, I don't have a "passion" for anything in particular. I have friends who love to garden; I have friends who love anything that has to do with knitting or yarn work; I have friends who are passionate about wine and food. I have secretly admired them for years because I just could not find anything that interested me enough to pursue as a hobby.
So I took to heart an exercise I read about whose purpose was to help me identify and focus on what mattered most, what talents and abilities were sitting dormant inside just waiting be born. After this self reflection and writing down all my interests (it is harder than it sounds), step two required that I go to those people who know me best and find out what they see in me that I can't. It was very telling that my spouse of 31 years had a difficult time coming up with anything apart from a great talent to argue with him. Other opinions are still pending, which does not bode well. Could I be one of those persons born with absolutely no talent and ability other than to breathe? Wow, the realization is quite humbling.
In a previous life I taught writing and grammar to middle schoolers. I liked teaching it, and in the course of this labor I discovered that I also liked writing. Through the years I have written essays on many topics, but was not brave enough to throw these musings out into the marketplace. A few were published in the local paper, but the hope that some "brilliant editor" would read these wonders of the pen and offer me a job never materialized.
So for what it's worth, this last month of 2014 is the beginning of a braver, more focused, goal setting and goal achieving me. I hope you follow along.
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