Well-behaved Women

Bumper stickers can speak volumes about the person who own the vehicle. Apart from the free political advertising that adorns many car bumpers, we can be easily entertained while tooling through town or across the country by clever wing dings that challenge us to COEXIST, encourage support of one sports team or another, and my favorite: the humorous sayings with a subtle philosophical edge. The one that I have seen quite frequently of late is that insipid statement that "Well-behaved women seldom make history."

I fully understand the point: the bumper sticker owner wants us to believe that in order for a woman to achieve anything of value in this world, she must set aside convention and embrace that which is not typically considered "womanly." We are expected to believe that unless the woman was a revolutionary of some sort....Susan B. Anthony, Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Miley Cyrus.....in other words, some radical who challenges societal norms, her impact on the world is unremarkable. I would challenge this opinion.

History is rich with the women who, without defying convention, have made significant contributions to the world in a variety of areas: science, music, writing, the arts, politics and religion. Let me focus on three women, whose lives were played out in the world of politics and religion, yet whose impact has been long standing.

The author Irving Stone wrote a book about the relationship between John and Abigail Adams, Those Who Love. In this relationship, we see a woman leading a more or less conventional life for the time in which she lived: she was a wife and a mother, and endured all the suffering that comes with trying to keep life normal for her children while her spouse was involved in standing against convention and advocating for American freedom. From the "confines" of her vocation as wife and mother, Abigail Adams both challenged and supported her husband's opinions and actions as he argued in favor of American Independence, and later in the establishment of our country. She was an influential guide as a mother (sometimes a single mother), having a son who later became President of the United States. Her influence on American history is deep and reaching, yet there were no splashy headlines about her; she did not challenge societal norms regarding the role of women. Living and loving in the scope of her calling as a wife and mother, Abigail Adams is one of my favorite role models. I would consider her a "well-behaved woman" of her times and for all times, and she is remembered in history.

In the world of religion, Thursday, December 4, the Catholic Church celebrated the feast of my patron saint, St. Barbara. According to traditional sources, St. Barbara led a pure and virtuous life, committing herself to serving God as a Christian, and sacrificing a life in the world for one of service to Him. She vowed to remain a virgin, but was ultimately sacrificed at the hands of her father, a pagan, who wanted her to marry against her will. One could argue that she chose to defy convention, which really dictated that she honor her father's wishes and marry (for his convenience). Did she really?

She defied her father. She defied the convention of the time, which would have her living in the world as a wife and mother. She stood strong in her belief and in her love for God. Was she a "well-behaved woman?" I would argue that she, and countless thousands of women, who chose to serve God above the conventions of the world, and who are among the canonized saints of the Church because of their love and piety, truly is a "well-behaved woman."

In our own time, we have a wonderful woman who illustrates that being "well-behaved" does not lessen your impact on history: Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta.  Like St. Barbara, Blessed Mother Teresa chose a higher calling than many women today. Quietly, calmly and very much under the radar of headlines and the glare of the media spotlight, Blessed Mother Teresa's impact on the souls under her care is profound. They, and all women who are honored by the Church as saints, are great role models for me as well.

So for what it's worth, the idea that someone, a woman in particular, has to be an attention-getter in order to make history is really rather short-sighted.